He's Not Her Boyfriend
by mabelreid
Summary: ***Spoilers for season 15*** What happened to Spencer and Max in the month between his hospital stay and Garcia's farewell party? Just my opinion on the progress of Maxer because they didn't bring Max back for the finale.
1. Chapter 1

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_a/n this is a small series of scenes in Spencer/Max life in the month between Reid's hospital visit in "And in the End," and Garcia's party. Please enjoy. _**

Spencer was in the middle of reading book number two for the day when someone knocked on his door. His head jerked up in surprise. It was hours before lunch, so it couldn't be the delivery guy. He jumped to his feet when the knock sounded again and hurried to the door.

"Max," he greeted, happily

"Hey. I hope you don't mind my dropping in unannounced." She questioned.

"No, come in."

She accepted his invitation and walked into the apartment. She wore her favorite grey jacket over a pink top, jeans, and sneakers. Her wavy, golden-brown hair framed her face.

Her happy smile made him feel tingly, so he bent down for a kiss. "Hello," he said and lightly touched a lock of her soft and pleasantly scented hair.

"Hello," she answered and put a hand on his chest. "Guess what?"

"You got it!"

"Yes!" She turned in a delighted circle, then reached for him, and yanked him down for another, much longer kiss.

"Wow," he said breathlessly. "That was outstanding."

She smirked at him. "I can't believe it. There were _so_ many candidates and I'm sure that some of them were –"

Spencer reached out and put two fingers to her lips. "Don't say they were better qualified because if that were the case, you wouldn't be telling me you got the job, right."

"You're right," Max conceded. "They picked me," she said, and he nearly laughed at the wonder in her voice.

"Of course, they did. I had _no _doubt at all."

Max studied him carefully. "You truly didn't, did you. You're pretty amazing, Dr. Reid."

"So are you, Ms. Brenner."

"Ah, don't call me that, it makes me feel old."

Spencer laughed and caressed her cheek with one finger. "Alright, no more Ms. Brenner. Now, _what _shall we do to celebrate?"

Max appeared a little stunned. "I hadn't thought about it."

"Well, I have. Do you trust me?"

"Yes," she said without hesitation.

"Then we'll stop for food on the way out of town."

"Out of town. Where are we going?" Max said and planted her feet when he tried to tug her forward.

"You said you trusted me."

Max took in his golden-brown eyes and sighed. His eyes had drawn her in from the very first moment they met. It was the total guilelessness in their depths that had made her trust him. It was the hint of pain and sorrow that always clouded them, which made her want to see him smile. Well, he smiled now, and she sighed.

"Yes, I trust you."

"Good." Spencer tugged her forward and she let him lead her from his apartment and out into the grey, winter day.

An hour later, they arrived at a small, weathered cabin on the edge of the forest. "Wow," Max said.

"I know this is weird since we've only known each other for twenty-three days and three hours, but I thought you might like a walk in the forest and then we can eat or eat and then walk. I don't expect anything other than spending time with you so – "

"I get it," Max interrupted, then laughed. "Let's eat first and then you can tell me about this cabin in the woods."

He'd thought he was ready to enter Gideon's escape from the world, but the memory of his last trip here struck him like a fist. The interior was the same, except for all signs of murder that were sanitized. It appeared that Stephen had restored it to the way Gideon loved it, with photographs and drawings of birds on the walls, the same furniture, and rugs on the floor, and the same round table in the kitchen.

"Hey, you okay," Max interrupted his thoughts.

"Yeah, I think so. I haven't been up here for years and it took me by surprise."

"Come on, let's eat and maybe if you tell me about this place, you'll feel better."

Spencer nodded but was unsure if Max were right about feeling better. He led her inside and then to Gideon's kitchen, where he'd loved to cook. It suddenly struck him to wonder if Rossi and Gideon had ever cooked for one another and if so, had they competed or cooperated. He smiled at the thought.

"See, you're feeling better already."

"Yeah," he agreed and went to the table.

Spencer told her about Gideon as they removed fragrant food from bags, they'd carried in. He had a huge meatball sub, and Max had a chicken salad sub with a small Caesar salad on the side. Spencer handed her a large cup of cherry coke and sat at the round, wooden table.

"It's because of Gideon that I'm a profiler. I went to a lecture he gave at UVA and peppered him with questions. Instead of annoying him, he offered to mentor me. I was years younger than the required age of a profiler, nor did I have the seven years' experience as an agent that is a requirement to join the BAU. He believed in me and the rest is history."

Max studied him as she chewed a bite of her salad. "This is his place."

"It _was,_" Spencer said, and his voice rose a bit. "Um, he was murdered here six years ago."

"Seriously," she looked around as if ready to spot a body at any moment.

"Sorry," Spencer apologized. "I shouldn't have sprung that on you."

"It's okay," Max said. "I should be used to strangeness in your life."

Spencer chuckled, then choked on his sub. Max reached over and smacked him hard on the back. "You okay?"

"I'm fine, it's just that you're right about the strangeness in my life. I tell you that my personal life isn't that exciting and yet – here we are."

"This isn't that kind of exciting and strange, I can handle," Max informed him after a bite of her salad.

"I'm glad."

"Go on," Max gestured with one hand. "Tell me what happened to Gideon."

"He was killed by a man he'd once tried to capture over forty years ago but could never find until five years ago. Then we were called in and found him with his latest victim. Rossi had to kill him in self-defense."

"So, I take it he left you this place?"

"No, it belongs to his son, Steven. He let me keep the key Gideon gave me years ago. I haven't been up here since the funeral."

Max reached out and touched his hand as he crunched a potato chip. "You didn't have to bring me here?"

"I wanted to," Spencer said and he smiled for her. "I wanna make new memories."

"Okay, so tell me more about him."

Spencer told her about playing chess, about Gideon buying him tickets to a football game so he could ask out JJ, he told her about how he was like a father to him, and that he loved studying birds. Spencer told her about his failed marriage, and about his reconciliation with Steven. He told her about his love of Charlie Chaplin films, and about his book of survivors. He told her about Frank Briekoft and Sarah. He told her about the note Gideon left for him and how he never had the chance to say goodbye or thank him for all he'd done as a father figure.

Max finished her lunch by the time Spencer went quiet. She waited for him to swallow the last of his sandwich, then she said. "I'm so sorry."

He gave her a sad smile. "I didn't bring you up here to depress you."

"I know that, and I'm not. I'm glad to know more about the important people in your life."

"Thank you."

"Now," she stood. "Let's go for the walk and you can tell me all about your date with JJ."

Spencer rolled his eyes at her tone, then laughed when he realized that she was teasing him. "_Nothing_ happened, in fact, Garcia came along at JJ request because she didn't realize I _thought_ it was a date."

Max stopped as they walked out of the cabin. "Wait, she didn't think it was a date. What did she think?"

Spencer shrugged. "Just two friends going to a football game."

"Hm," Max said as they began their walk. "I suppose I should be grateful that she didn't realize the opportunity she passed up with you."

Spencer decided that he'd wait to tell Max about JJ's confession a year ago because it still rankled, and he didn't trust himself to speak calmly about it.

"I'm not sure she –"

"Don't say you're not an amazing man, Spencer. You _are _and I won't let you run yourself down. You hear me?"

"Yes," he said solemnly and made her laugh.

"Come on, it's beautiful here and I want to take some pictures so I can sketch later."

"Then lead on," Spencer said and followed along a well-worn path.

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Spencer walked Max to her car when they returned back to DC, three hours later. "Thank you, for a beautiful day," she said.

"You're welcome."

"Maybe someday in the future, we can go back and spend the night."

Spencer swallowed hard and looked at the ground instead of her eyes. One of her hands reached out and lifted his chin. "If you want to, that is."

"I do," he blurted out. "It's just that you said we should take things slow."

"That's why I said _someday_ in the future, right."

"Yeah," he nodded and then stepped in to kiss her. "Thank you for sharing the cabin with me. I needed to talk to someone outside of the BAU about Gideon."

Max nodded and squeezed his hand. "I'm glad you shared your memories of him with me. I know he meant a lot to you. I wish I could've met him."

"Me too," Spencer said softly.

"Well, I think I better go," Max said and shivered slightly. "It looks like rain."

"Bye," Spencer said and sighed when she kissed him.

"Bye."

He watched her drive away until her car was out of sight. Rain began to pelt down just as he opened the door to his building. He hurried up the stairs and into his apartment. He put on a pot of coffee to brew and then made his way back to his bedroom. He opened his closet door and took out a box. Inside, were several keepsakes, including the note he'd memorized nearly thirteen years ago. He stared at it, then took it and ripped it into tiny shreds of paper he dropped into a small wastebasket in his bathroom.

"Goodbye, Gideon," he said and went back to the kitchen, where a fresh cup of coffee waited to be drunk.


	2. Chapter 2

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_A/n thanks to all who have read and reviewed. I'm way behind on my email and will answer you all in the next few days. Have a great weekend and stay safe out there. _**

"Do you want to talk about it?" Max asked Spencer as they turned away from the food truck with their coffees.

It was a blustery winter day with blue sky, a brilliant golden sun, and a few gray-white clouds far overhead. The wind tossed their hair around and teased pink into their hands as they slowly walked to one of the wooden tables in the park.

"About Kat?"

"Yes," she said.

Part of her wanted to hear the story from his point of view, and part of her wanted him to say no, that it was time to leave it in the past.

"All of it?"

"Garcia told me about what happened in Mexico."

Spencer sighed and looked at his coffee cup instead of maintaining eye contact. "Garcia told you what she heard from the team. I'm not so sure what happened. I used to think I knew, but then Kat worms her way back into my life, and she said –"

"I hope you still don't believe anything she said to you, Spencer. After her lies in your apartment, I'd say you have to take _anything _she's ever told you with a huge grain of salt."

"I guess I know that, but – alright. Let me tell you the story from the beginning."

Max sipped her coffee and listened intently as Spencer laid out everything for her, from the dirty dozen down to their last goodbye.

"So," she began after he stopped talking and took a huge gulp of his cooling coffee. "The takeaway is that you outsmarted her once, and she overreacted by plotting revenge of operatic proportions against you."

Spencer stared at her for a moment then smirked, "Precisely."

"So, she never had real feelings, for you, just a sense of over-inflated ego."

"Yes."

Max nodded and drank down the last of her coffee. "Then, how do you feel now that you've witnessed her execution – which by the way, I wish you hadn't – and you know she's gone forever."

"The truth?"

"Always."

"I feel sad for the person she could've been had her father not murdered her mother and abandoned her. She was intelligent, charismatic and beautiful. On the other side of the coin, she was psychopathic and utterly incapable of human emotion. As much as it saddens me that her potential as a contributing member of society was curtailed, I'm glad she's gone.

"I get the impression you'll miss the challenge she presents."

Spencer blew out a breath and met her eyes. "In some ways, yes, but for the most part, I'm celebrating inside. She's gone and the most important fact is that she can't hurt you, your family, or my mother ever again."

"I agree wholeheartedly."

"So, what _is_ the next step," Spencer wondered. "I know what my therapist would say, but I want to hear it from you."

Max smirked at him. "Are you _sure_ you want to hear what I think?"

"Yes," Spencer rolled his hands to encourage her opinions.

"I think that we should attempt another nighttime date and get our minds off a psycho woman and her obsession with you."

Spencer smiled an endearing and crooked smile that made her heart flutter a little. "I thought you'd never ask."

"Good."

"What did you have in mind?"

"My father has never given up trying to convince my sisters and me that old, black and white films are better than modern cinema. For a long time, I made him think I didn't like them, but eventually, he figured out that I _love _old creature features."

Spencer's eyes lit up and she grinned at him. "Seriously."

She loved his habit of squeaking when excited. "Yes. Dad called me last night and said that "Tarantula" is playing at the Globe for the next week. He wanted me to go with him, but I said I wanted to take you."

"Maybe you should – "

Max held up a hand. "He pretended to be hurt, but I know my dad and he likes you, Spencer. He thinks my dating a genius FBI agent is the coolest." She laughed.

"I'm surprised considering it was my fault Kat dragged him into – "

"No," Max interrupted. "Remember_ she's_ the one that overreacted when you bested her the first time. She's the one that my family blames. Believe it and let it go."

"You're right," he admitted. "I'll try."

"Anyway, dad is over the moon that you're into old films. Don't be surprised if they're the main topic of conversation the next time you talk to him."

Spencer smirked at her and she rolled her eyes. "I look forward to it."

"Come on, let's take a nice long walk and enjoy the sunshine. "It's supposed to rain tomorrow night."

"Wait," Spencer stopped. "When are we going to the movies?"

"Are you okay with a weeknight?"

"Sure, but why?"

"Because there are fewer people and we can make out in the back row."

Spencer choked on his coffee. "I thought you wanted to _watch_ the movie," he squeaked.

"I do, and when the good parts happen, we'll watch."

"I hope so because I love ghost stories and scary movies."

"Really," Max said. "That's good to know."

"So, what day this week," Spencer prompted her.

"Why not tomorrow night? "

"I'll have to check my calendar." Spencer teased.

Max sighed and smacked him on the chest. "Funny. You're still on medical leave, you don't _have_ a busy calendar."

"True," he admitted dolefully and sighed.

Max took his hand. "I'm glad you don't because I get to spend all the time, I want with you."

"Until you start your new job," he reminded her.

"Yes, but then we'll have more nighttime dates. You good with that."

"Yep."

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It was raining the proverbial cats and dogs when Max knocked on Spencer's door. She held a dripping umbrella and wore a huge smile. "Hey," she greeted after he kissed her.

"Hey."

"You ready to go."

"I am," he said.

She studied him and thought he looked much more relaxed since the previous day. He wore his usual suit, jacket, and tie, but there was something about his face and the way he held himself that spoke of new happiness in his life.

"You look great," she said.

"Thanks, so do you."

"Thank you." She glanced at the clock on his wall. "We better go, or we'll miss the beginning."

"Let's go."

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When they exited the theater two hours later, the rain had ended. The pavement shone under the streetlights and the air smelled richly of ozone. Cool air caressed their faces as they walked slowly toward Spencer's old Volvo parked down the street and around the corner of the theater.

"Did you like it," Max asked him.

"Sure, the parts we watched," he said and jerked away when she tried to smack his shoulder.

"You started it," she reminded him. "I was minding my business when you kissed me."

"I've never made out in a theater and I wanted a new experience."

Max shook her head and drank the last of her giant cup of cherry coke. She tossed in a nearby trash can and said. "Thanks for the snacks, by the way."

"You're welcome. You can't watch a movie without popcorn."

"True. So, what did you think of the parts you noticed?"

"The science behind the doctor's formula is weak. In the fifties, it was assumed that radiation could make animals or insects grow to monster proportions, or turn humans into mutants. Radiation kills, it doesn't mutate."

Max rolled her eyes as they reached the car and climbed inside. "I know that, but putting the improbable science aside, what did you think?"

Reid turned to her and grinned. "I loved it. The special effects were well done for the period. I was impressed that they were able to film an actual tarantula with a miniaturized set. I hate spiders and can't imagine approaching near enough to film one."

Max shuddered. "Yeah, I agree. Spiders are creepy."

"They do a tremendous service to the world," Spencer pulled into traffic and became devil's advocate at the same time. "They kill insects. Without spiders, the world would be overrun with mosquitoes, flies, and a multitude of other pests."

"Okay, that's fair," Max said. "Still, they give me the chills."

"They can make beautiful webs," Spencer continued.

"Yeah, but I like to see them from a good long-distance," Max replied.

"Did you notice Clint Eastwood," Spencer asked.

"Yeah, I think that was his first movie role. You couldn't see his face, but everyone recognizes his voice."

They were quiet until Spencer pulled up in front of Max's apartment. "You want to come up for a while," Max asked.

"I thought your rule was no men in your place for safety reasons."

Max studied him as they sat in the darkness of his car. "That was my hard and fast rule, but I want you to understand how much I trust you."

"You don't have to prove it to me by inviting me into your space."

"I know, but I thought we could have a cup of coffee and talk. That's all."

"Then I agree. Lead on."


	3. Chapter 3

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_a/n thank you again for your kind support of this story. Have a great week. _**

March came in like a lion and rained for two days straight in Washington DC. The temperature stayed just warm enough to keep it from turning to snow. The skies were gray and gloomy, but they were familiar skies to Spencer Reid. Medical leave meant that he didn't have to leave them behind for unfamiliar cities and towns. Staying home meant more time to spend with Max and despite the rain, he couldn't keep the smile from his face as he hurried into her apartment building.

"Hey," Max greeted him when he rang the buzzer.

"Hi," he said and dipped his head to kiss her.

"Come in and dry off. I can't believe it's still raining."

He entered and looked around as he removed his coat and scarf. The simple warmth of her home struck him as she took his umbrella to her kitchen sink. To his left was a sliding glass door that led to her balcony. The blinds were pulled back to reveal the rain pounding on the wrought iron patio furniture. A plant hung from a hook in the ceiling near the glass doors. It bloomed with blue blossoms and appeared healthy and robust.

"What are you thinking?"

"That I can never have a plant in my place. I always kill them with inattention. I forget about them and months later I'll look up from a book and – that's it." He shrugged.

Max took his hand and led him to the sofa against the wall. It was steel grey and piled with throw pills in shades of light pink, white and sage green. A knitted blanket hung over it, matching the colors of the pillows. He loved how comfortable it was and he liked the matching wood veneer coffee table with canted metal legs, and two compartments with removable drawers inside. The table, painted grey to match the couch had a few magazines and one book of photographs. There were several pictures on the walls and throw rugs on floors.

"I _love_ this room," Spencer said. "It suits you so well."

"Like your apartment suits you," Max said as she sat half facing him and with one hand tracing his arm.

"I suppose it does."

They were silent for a few minutes. They only sound was the patter of the rain on her balcony. He looked at her and saw that she smiled.

"I see that your first week went well."

"It did."

"I was hoping that I could take you to the park and we could get pretzels and sit at our favorite bench."

Max twined her fingers with him. "You don't need to take me anywhere," she said as the heat kicked on and blew warm air from the vent over their heads. "I want to stay here and drink hot chocolate and spend time with you."

"I like the sound of that," Spencer said.

An hour later, Max sat curled up with Spencer under the blanket she said her sister Michelle made for her. "After mom died, she tried to take over as a mother but I wasn't having it. I was twenty-two when she died and thought I was an adult. I pushed everyone, including Dad away. After I graduated from college, I was desperate to leave. I bought a ticket to LA and decided to see if I could make a living as an artist. That didn't last very long and soon I was living on the streets; I swallowed my pride and called my dad. He sent me money for a plane ticket home before I got into serious trouble."

"I'm going to guess from your tone and expressions, that Michelle didn't take it very well."

"No," Max sighed. "She was married and had a small child. She thought I should be as responsible as she and it was like a modern prodigal daughter story when I arrived home. We fought and we cried. We drove Dad crazy. Finally, it was Eloise that brought us back together. She was in a serious car accident a week after I returned. Her best friend was driving, and she was killed. She'd just passed her driver's test and they'd talked her dad into borrowing his car to go to the mall. She ran a stop sign – god, I _don't_ want to think about it."

"You don't have to," Spencer said and tightened his arm around her. "I understand."

"Luckily, Eloise walked away, and the other driver survived with whiplash and a broken arm. My dad was a basket case for months and I had to fix things for Michelle to help him through. It's strange," Max said as she shivered with the memory. "It's as though you never understand what you have until it's gone, or until you almost lose it."

Spencer nodded and forced himself not to think about all the losses in his life. "I know what you mean."

Max looked up at him and he saw tears in her eyes. He wanted to see her smile again. "Yeah, you do."

"My mother once said that everything that doesn't kill us makes us stronger. She had a strange fascination with Nietzsche." He explained. "There are days when I wonder if what he wrote is true, and other days when I _know_ it is. Does that make sense?"

"Yeah," Max said and pulled away from him. "The more I learn about your life, the more I realize that you're an amazing man, Spencer."

"You're an exceptional woman, Maxine."

She smacked his shoulder. "Don't call me that or I'll toss you out in the rain."

Spencer smirked at her and she finally smiled. "Good, I don't like to see tears."

She blew out a breath and wiped at her eyes. "I'm fine. It was a horrible time. First, my mom and then nearly losing Eloise. Anyway," she cuddled up to him. "I want to talk about happier things. How are you?"

"I'm fine, but I didn't come here to talk about me. I want to hear about your first week."

"I'll tell you after we order dinner. I want something warm and hardy to combat the dampness."

"Surprise me," Spencer suggested.

"I will and one day I'll cook for you when I'm not so exhausted.

"You don't have to cook for me," Spencer argued.

Max ignored him and went to find her phone. Spencer stayed on the sofa and watched the rain fall until Max returned. "Food will be here in about thirty minutes. In the meantime, you want more chocolate or coffee."

"Coffee, please," Spencer requested.

Max rolled her eyes. "Why did I ask?"

Spencer laughed and watched her go to the coffee pot. A few minutes later they were drinking and talking when the rain abruptly ceased.

"Hey, it stopped," Max said and grinned at him. "I'm glad because tomorrow is Saturday and I want to spend time outdoors."

"Me too," Spencer agreed.

The food arrived at the specified time and Spencer was delighted to see and smell the fragrance of India. "What did you order?"

"You'll see. I'll plate it and if you want to wash up, the bathroom is down the hall."

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"That was a delicious meal," Spencer said after he helped Max clean up the debris and put away the leftovers.

"Yes, it was."

"You know, I should go. I – "

Max pulled him down and kissed him. They'd kissed many times since their first embrace in the elevator at Quantico, but something about this kiss was different. He felt as though some barrier had fallen around his soul and for the first time he didn't question if he were right or wrong about his feelings.

"Max," he whispered when they broke apart.

"Don't," she said and nodded her head. "No discussions, no conversations, no questions, alright?"

"Yes," he said and lifted her into his arms.

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Spencer sighed with irritation when his phone buzzed and she saw that JJ was attempting to text him about brunch the next day. He turned it off and shoved it into his messenger bag. He looked up to see Max standing there in a terry cloth robe and pink bunny slippers that made him laugh.

"What's so funny?" She demanded.

"I'm sorry, Max, but your slippers," he pointed to them with one long finger.

"Hey, don't laugh." She said and then began to giggle. "A girl has to have some comforts after a long day."

"I agree," he said solemnly and motioned for her to join him.

"Besides, you look a bit rough with your shirt untucked and your mismatched socks. What is _that_ all about?"

"They're good luck," he said, seriously.

"Are you kidding?"

"No," he said indignantly.

"Spencer, from what you've told me and from what I've experienced first-hand, I'd say you need another lucky charm."

Spencer sighed and then smiled. "Admittedly, they don't always work."

"You think."

"What about last night," he teased and jerked away when she lunged at him.

"That was _not_ funny," she said.

"Still, are you okay with me staying the night."

"If I wasn't, you'd be in big trouble."

He frowned and picked at his sleeve. "I'm serious, Max. I didn't come here to stay over. I like you very much and I've tried to keep to our of taking it slow agreement."

"I know," Max said and put a hand to his face. "We both decided to break that rule, right."

"Yeah."

"Good, so let's not ruin it with regrets. I care about you, Spencer, and I want us to do what feels right and last night felt right."

"I'm glad because there's something you don't know."

Max's eyebrows went up. "I think I can guess."

"You can."

"Yeah, you're not the only one that can read people."

"You're not disappointed," he asked.

"No, of course not," she said. "I could ask _you _the same question."

"I don't have a frame of reference for comparison, but I feel exhilarated. I understand that is the desired result of our overnight activities."

"I love the way you put things," Max said and grinned at him. "But, you're right. That _is _the desired outcome."

"Thank you for not kicking me out when you realized I didn't have any experience."

"You're welcome, and trust me, it was the best decision I've made when it comes to men in my life."

"I'm not sure how to respond to that except to say thank you and I'm flattered."

"Come on," she quirked a finger. "Let's get dressed and go to the park. I'm in the mood for a pretzel."


	4. Chapter 4

**_Disclaimer: see my profile._**

**_A/n thank you all for supporting this story. I know that things are scary and confusing out there for everyone. Please stay safe and take care of yourselves. Let's be kind to ourselves and each other. Have a good week and remember, this too shall pass. _**

It was another, gray, gloomy and glum day when Spencer looked out of his apartment window. The weather app on his work phone said that it was supposed to rain. He sighed and wished for April with its blue skies and brilliantly colored foliage to clothe the world in splendor. Three weeks had passed since his latest sojourn in the hospital. Soon he'd be back to work, but – he shook his head and tried not to think about his last phone call with Garcia. He took a look around his apartment and decided to get out for a while.

Half an hour later, Spencer pulled into the parking lot of the library. A stack of books ready to return sat on the passenger seat with his messenger bag. He got out, rounded the car and opened the door to grab the books. New reading material awaited him inside the modern one-story building, and it sent tingles of excitement into his blood that tried to overcome his depression.

As he hurried across the parking lot, he noticed that only three vehicles took parking spaces in the lot. He looked at his watch and realized that it was the middle of the lunch hour on a weekday. His stomach picked that time to make hunger known to him, but he ignored it.

Inside he found Mrs. Cox, the head librarian, behind the counter checking in stacks of books. She was short, plump woman with graying blond hair, and green eyes. She wore a blue and grey striped sweater of a white blouse, and blue slacks. She looked up as the doors swished open and then closed behind him. "Oh, hello Dr. Reid. How are you?"

"I'm well, Mrs. Cox, how are you."

"I'm fine except my shoulder is killing me again."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that."

Mrs. Cox waved him off with her good hand. "It's work. I need a vacation."

Spencer put down his stack of books. "I think you should take one," he suggested. "Sorry to add to your workload."

"Don't worry," Mrs. Cox said as she moved his books onto a separate stack at her left. "Gladys's lunch hour is over in ten minutes. She'll take care of this," she waved her hands at the stacks of books on a steel trolly.

"Good."

"You go on and find more reading material. See you later."

Spencer did as instructed and after about twenty minutes of perusal, he found enough books to keep him busy for a couple of days. He was about to go back to the checkout counter when he spied an empty armchair near a bank of windows at the back of the building. He went to it and sat down to read.

Fifteen minutes later, he sighed and closed his book after reading exactly two pages. His mind continued to circle back to Garcia and her news that she'd decided to take a new job. The weight of all the blood, suffering and waste was crushing, and he didn't blame her for deciding that she'd had enough.

He looked out the window when the sound of rain began to smack against the glass. He watched the drops elongate, slide down the smooth surface and fade away. God, he was sick of the rain and the grayness of stormy skies overhead. He decided that a visit to the library hadn't cured his depression over losing Rossi and Garcia from the team. He picked up his books and walked slowly toward the checkout.

"I see you found more reading material," Mrs. Cox pointed out, unnecessarily.

"Yes. Thank you."

"You're welcome," she said and began to scan his choices on the computer. "We don't see many people in the library on rainy days."

"Yeah," he said quietly.

"Is everything alright, Dr. Reid."

"What? Oh, yeah, I'm fine. I'm sick of the rain."

"I hear you."

She gave him the stack of books and his card. "See you later."

He nodded and suddenly felt a deep need to get out of the building. He hurried toward the exit with the attitude of a man trying to escape the oncoming rush of the tide. The minute he stepped out of the door, he realized that he'd left his umbrella at home despite the threat of rain.

"Damn," he said under his breath and surveyed the rain sheeting down in front of the overhang that protected him.

"Hey there, Dr. Reid. Need some help."

He jerked around at the familiar voice and saw Max standing there with a bright red umbrella that was like a welcome beacon in the night. She smirked up at him and he smiled so hard his cheeks hurt. She wore a blue coat, jeans, and sneakers. Her wavy hair and dark eyes captured him and forced the outside world into the background.

"How?" He asked, inanely.

"How did I find you?"

"Yes," he said.

"I decided to become a profiler and put my knowledge of you to the test."

"Very well done," Spencer said and took her umbrella.

He held it over both of them and breathed in deep of the smell of rain, a bit of ozone and Max's perfume. It was a heady mix that made him feel light-headed and pushed his depression into the back of his mind.

"Want to come home with me," he asked.

"Yep."

CMCMCMCMCMCMC

Spencer put Max's umbrella aside to dry and joined her on the sofa. "Thank you for searching me out."

Max reached for his hand and squeezed it. "You sounded so unhappy on the phone last night. I wanted to do something to cheer you up."

"I'm sorry," he began.

"Don't apologize. Spencer, you've worked with Penelope for fifteen years. Naturally, you'd have mixed feelings about her leaving."

"But, I _want _her to be happy," Spencer said.

"Your brain says you do, but your heart isn't so sure," Max argued.

Spencer nodded and curled an arm around her. "It's too much all at once. Rossi announces his retirement and now this."

"Are you sure that's all?"

Spencer made himself look her in the eyes. "Yeah, that's all."

"Okay."

Max pulled away from him and stood. "Where are you going?" Spencer asked.

"I have a surprise for you."

Spencer lifted his eyebrows. "What?"

"Wait here and you'll see."

"Max?"

She put a finger to her lips and shushed him. "I promise you'll like it. At the very least, it'll probably make you laugh."

Spencer watched her go into his room. He waited impatiently for several minutes then she called out. "Close your eyes."

"Max," he called back.

"Please!"

"Okay, they're closed."

"Good."

After a few seconds, she said. "You can open your eyes now."

He opened his eyes and stared in surprise. Max stood there wearing the hoodie he'd bought the day they met. It had drowned him and on her small frame, it was like a sail that reached halfway down her legs. Her bare legs. He decided after several stunned seconds, that she didn't wear anything underneath it. His initial urge to laugh turned into arousal.

"Spencer?"

"Wow," he said and stood. He took two steps, grabbed her and scooped her into his arms. His hands confirmed his assertion that she _was_ nude under the hoodie and suddenly he couldn't wait to have her in his bed.

CMCMCMCMCMCMCM

Spencer opened his eyes to see that it was about three pm. He noticed that the rain had stopped and the sun peeked through the clouds and his curtains. He stretched and smiled when Max sighed as she lay cuddled to his side.

"Hi," she whispered.

"Hey, you okay."

"Sure," she said and sat up.

He watched her tug at his sheets and pull them up to cover her attractive breasts. "Hey, you're ruining my view."

She rolled her eyes and sat back on one of his pillows. "Too bad."

"Thanks for trying to distract me."

"You're welcome."

He reached out and tugged gently on a lock of her hair. "Max, do you think I'm selfish?"

"What? No! You're the most unselfish man I've ever met."

"I fell like my life is spinning out of control."

Max pulled her knees up to her chest and rested her head on them. "Tell me what's bothering you."

Spencer blew out a breath. "What would you say if I told you that I'm done, that I've had enough."

Max stared at him. "I'd say I completely understand, but I'd also wonder if you're sure."

He nodded his head. "After the breach that killed those men –"

"Spencer, that wasn't –"

"Don't say it wasn't my fault! I should've seen it."

He pulled away from her, climbed out of bed and reached for his pants and shirt. "I made the call, not Rossi and not Emily or even JJ. I should've waited."

"Spencer, you're not all-knowing despite your genius. You did what you thought was best."

Spencer zipped his pants and then sat, dejectedly on the side of the bed. "Did I tell you that fifteen years ago, Gideon believed in a serial bomber. Adian Bale, I'll never forget that name. He cost us, six agents, too. I never believed in destiny, but –"

"Wait," Max held up a hand. "You're moving too far into the metaphysical for my taste. I don't believe in fate," she said firmly. "I believe we have free will. You did what you thought was right with the information you had."

"I should've been able to figure it out sooner."

"Damn it, Spencer." Max jumped out of bed and began to gather her clothes. "I understand why you feel this way, but you have to get past it. If you want to quit because you're ready to leave it behind, go ahead, but if you quit because you made a mistake, you'll _regret _it."

Spencer pulled on his shirt, stood and rounded the bed to Max. He pulled her into his arms and hugged her until she relaxed and kissed his neck. "I'm sorry," he breathed into her hair.

"Don't apologize, just move on."

He stepped back and finally gave her a small smile. "How did you get to be such a great profiler?"

"I'm learning from the best."

"Max, what if I leave and the team needs me?"

"People suffered and died before you became a profiler and they will suffer and die after you leave. You can't change human nature."

He nodded and sighed. "You're right."

She took his hand and gestured toward his window where the sun peeked in with an inviting golden glow. "Why don't we go for a walk now that the rain's stopped?"

"Yeah. Max, did you know that before I met you, I hardly left this place unless it was for work or to go to the library."

"I think I can believe it," Max said and grinned up at him.

"What I mean is that I'm glad I forced myself to do what my therapist said that day.

"I'm glad you did."

"Come on, let's finish getting dressed and then we'll go for a long walk."


	5. Chapter 5

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_A/n hello all. Here is the final chapter. I hope everyone is well and taking all precautions to stay healthy. Thank you for your support of this story in trying times._**

"I'm so glad the rain stopped," Max said as she and Spencer strolled toward the park.

The sky showed blue and devoid of clouds. It was cool and breezy, and the air smelled crisp and clean. Spencer looked at Max and decided that he loved to see a smile on her face under the golden light of the afternoon sun.

"Me too," he replied and smiled when she squeezed his hand.

"You want a pretzel."

"Only if you promise not to make me drop it this time."

Max smirked at him and he shrugged his shoulders. "I was demonstrating the need for childlike behavior in adults."

Spencer put in his order and waited for Max to add her preferences before he said. "I suppose you're right, but couldn't you find some way other than pushing me into the sprinklers."

"It was a spontaneous act," Max said as they took their purchases to a nearby bench. "I didn't think about it. That's why it was so funny."

Spencer blew out a breath, then smiled. "I'll allow that you might be right."

"Do you?"

He looked over at her as she dipped her pretzel into a small paper cup of honey mustard sauce. "Yes."

Max shook her head and they were silent as they enjoyed their treats and indulged in what her mother had always called – people watching.

"Max," Spencer interrupted her thoughts. "I have something I want to tell you."

"I know," she turned to face him after swallowing the last bite of her pretzel.

"You do?"

"Yeah, I had a feeling when you called me this morning that you wanted to talk and when you suggested we revisit this park, I knew it for certain."

Spencer's shoulders dropped and for a moment he watched a cardinal hopping on the ground and pecking at crumbs dropped on the grass. He kept his eyes on the bird instead of meeting Max's eyes.

"The day we met, I told you I was_ strongly_ advised to find a normal person and have a normal conversation."

"Yes."

"Later I told you it was my therapist that ordered me to have the conversation, but I didn't tell you why I was seeing her."

"I assumed it was none of my business, or it was intense work stress. I figured you'd tell me when you were ready."

Spencer turned toward her and met her eyes. "I went to see a therapist because I had unresolved feelings for one of my teammates."

"Okay."

"I wanted to tell you right away, but I was afraid I couldn't talk about it without becoming annoyed or angry and I didn't want you to think that I still have strong feelings for her."

"Is it JJ?"

Spencer stared at her. "How did you know?"

"I didn't," Max said. "There are four women on your team and her name was the first to pop into my head."

"Good first guess."

"I'm not sure if thank you is the right word."

He watched her face and feared he was right that Max would walk away now. He waited, but she didn't get up and leave in an angry huff. Instead, she reached for his hand. "I'm still here. Tell me."

"I met JJ when I'd just turned twenty-three. She'd been with the BAU for about three months as the new media specialist and liaison to local law enforcement. She was twenty-five and I thought she was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. I was immediately infatuated with her, and she didn't know I was alive, or I thought so."

"Why?"

"I'll answer that in a minute."

"Alright."

"I told you about the football game."

"Yeah. I still don't understand why she thought it wasn't a date."

Spencer only shook his head. "I'm sure you can imagine that I didn't want the others to know, so when Morgan asked me about the date, I told him it was top secret."

"You told me about Morgan. He's not on the team anymore, but you're like brothers."

"Yes, but at the time, I didn't trust him as I do now. I eventually told him about the date, and he was amused and irritated with JJ. I made him promise not to tell her that he knew, and he agreed."

"What happened next."

"You remember I told you about Tobias Hankel and my drug addiction as part of the Kat Adams drama."

"Yes."

"It was around that time that JJ met and started dating Will. Then she got pregnant and I thought my life was over. I knew she'd _never_ love me the way I wanted, and I forced those feelings down. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. Then Henry was born, and I was suddenly a godfather. I'd never wanted kids until I fell in love with his tiny baby that JJ forced me to hold."

Max squeezed his hand and he looked at her. She was still there. She hadn't told him goodbye. He blew out a breath and said. "Then I met Maeve, and she died. I thought I loved her more than anyone and there is still a part of me that will always love her, but I had to let it go. I started to think I'd never meet anyone that would love me and share my life."

A group suddenly passed by them with a black, white and sliver dog that looked to Spencer like it might be a malamute and husky mix. The dog sniffed him and howled as the owner yanked on the leash. "Lina, get back. Sorry," directed the man dressed in a flannel shirt, jeans, and boots. "She likes to greet everyone and say hello"

"That's fine," Spencer said.

"She's beautiful," Max agreed as they both petted the friendly animal.

"She's always looking for treats. Come on, Lina, these nice people don't have treats for you."

Max continued to smile as the man led Lina away from them. "I love dogs," she said.

"Me too," Reid said. "They used to hate me."

"Seriously."

"Yeah, the team used to call it the Reid effect. Animals and kids reacted badly to me."

"Sounds like that has changed. Lina seemed to like you and you have two godsons that love you."

"Yeah."

"So, back to your story."

Spencer looked away from the people in the park. "About eight months ago, JJ and I were in a hostage situation. The killer wanted to play truth or dare with one of the hostages, and JJ tried to buy us time by telling him she would play. He forced her to tell her darkest secret because he held a gun on her and threatened to kill one of us. She told me that she'd always loved me but was too scared to tell me, and then it became too complicated."

"I assume that brought back all the feelings you thought you were over."

"Yes, but I thought I was okay until she was shot a couple of months ago and nearly died. She told me she'd meant what she said, but she loves Will. Suddenly, I started to wonder if I'd been waiting for her all along, that maybe my feelings for Maeve weren't real. I had to find a way to let it all go, so I went to a therapist."

"And she told you to have a conversation with someone outside work and here we are."

"Yes, and I'm so glad I met you. I know we've only known each other for a couple of months, but –"

"You don't have to say it," Max interrupted. "I feel the same. I'm sorry you had to go through all of that."

"It doesn't matter," Spencer said. "I've stopped wondering why JJ never told me. All I want is to go forward."

"Good," Max said. "I want to see where we go from here because I like you very much, Spencer."

"I like you too, Max."

They stayed quiet for a long time. Max broke the silence with an apology. "I'm sorry I can't go to the party with you tonight."

"It's fine. I'll be okay."

"Yes, but everyone will be there with a date or a spouse."

"It doesn't matter because you'll be in my thoughts. I wish I could be with you and make things easier."

"It's okay. I was talking to my dad this morning and he's looking forward to his party."

"I'm glad. It must be tough to celebrate his birthday on the anniversary of your mom's passing."

"Yeah, it was tough the first year. My mom knew what she wanted, though. She planned everything in writing and told us all more than once that she didn't want a stuffy funeral with everyone crying and carrying on. She wanted us to be happy. When she died, I didn't know if Dad was going to be okay with her wishes, but he said we needed to do what she wanted. Now, it's been five years and we all enjoy the celebrations. We have gifts and cake and then we watch mom and dad's favorite movie."

"Let me guess, something in black and white."

"Yes," Max said and smiled despite teary eyes. "They both loved, "Some Like it Hot."

"Oh, me too," Spencer enthused. "Did you know that Marilyn Monroe was pregnant when they filmed it."

"I did. Tony Curtis said that kissing Marilyn Monroe was like kissing Hitler."

"Well, I guess we better go. Your party's in a couple of hours and I need to think about what I'm going to say to the team," Spencer said after a minute's silence.

"Are you sure you want to tell them at the party?"

"Yes," Spencer said. "I don't want to put it off any longer, and everyone will be there."

"And, you're sure that leaving is what you want?"

"Yeah. I can't wade through blood and death anymore. I want to do something positive for the world."

"Then I'll standby you even though I can't be with you."

"I know, and I thank you for it."

Max was quiet for a long time, then she stood. "I better go."

Spencer stood with her and was shocked when she stood up on her toes to kiss him. "Spencer Reid, I told you that I like you, but I was lying."

He jolted away from her with hurt in his eyes, and his heart thumping painfully in his chest. "No," she grabbed his hand. "What I mean is that despite wanting to take things slow, I think I might be falling for you. I want you to know because you deserve more than my treating you like JJ."

"You don't have –"

She shushed him and pulled him down for another kiss. "Yes, I do. I want you to go into that party and I want you to know that someone, is on her way to falling in love with you. I want you to walk in there with your head high and – god, this is going to sound so petty, but I want JJ to wonder why you're smiling so hard. I want her to know that she lost something amazing and pure, and wise and wonderful."

"Wow," Spencer said.

"That's all you can say, Mr. Genius Profiler."

He laughed and ignored a pair of girls that giggled as they walked past. "Um, for the first time in my life, I'm speechless."

"Good," Max said and shook her head when he rolled his eyes.

"Please don't think I'm saying this because you spoke first, but I think I'm in love with you, Max."

"Good."

"So much for taking it slow."

Max slapped his arm. "Watch it."

"I'm sorry."

"You don't look sorry."

"I can't help it. I'm happier than I've ever felt. Thank you."

"You're welcome, now go do what you have to do and call me tomorrow."

"I will," he promised and walked away from the one person that made him feel as though he could face the morning without the weight of the world on his shoulders

_**THE END **_


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